…how to enjoy being alone

Where do I start?
How do I start?

I now, Dublin is over! For the past 18 months, Dublin is feeling the consequences of been so attractive to the easy money makers. This place is sinking faster than titanic. Dublin is no longer attractive. Yes ladies and gents, the party is officially over. And the cleaning will have to be done by us.

There’s no more jobs, no more easy money available and we all look desperate and sad. The weather is also not helping at all. Now is one of the worse winters ever in my short 28 years and I also look desperate and worry. As a reflex of Dublin’s life style, I have no job at moment. No income to expect and the future looks grin and gray. Black lets say.

As well as Dublin, I throw myself in this mess. I tricked my future and 2009 is not having a great start. I am scared and without question, bankrupted. Around 11.25 on this winter, windy, cold and wet Sunday; I had my last piece of bread, with sausage, tomato sauce and mustard dressing. I had a quick look in my refrigerator and didn’t want to believe that it is empty. All I had was a quarter bottle of white wine, one chocolate cake and whipped cream. Oh God, how depressing.

Back to Dublin city, no jobs, more and more unemployed people and less and less glamour. Unemployed rates here are in 7 percent and each day, more and more companies are letting staff going due shortage of profit. The confidence consumer is the lowest in 20 years and it is said that this crises is worse than the 80’s. Back in the 80’s around 75 percent of the Irish population was leaving the country. So, if 2009 is worse than the 80’s, future is indeed black now.

Do I have anything to celebrate? Not really. I am feeling alone, left out of the scene, no friends call me and I owe the bank, people and credit cards. Need to reapply for my visa and I still have to pay my English school for this 2009. And making things worse, I am in no place to collect money or food.

And, a few days later, more money had to be spent because my belly keep sending me signs and noise. Maybe, I need some food. Yet again, the money that I suppose to keep to pay my visa, is now shorter.

This photo is my self portrait and the city itself. Welcome…to the recession time. And is meant to stay until the end 2010!

** And as a personal project, in 2009 I’ll learn how to enjoy being alone…

Initially wrote in 18/01/2009 – Updated in 20/01/2009

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